Dating site nightmare

Last week I signed up to one of the leading dating websites. From its numerous ad campaigns I was fully expecting to be in a relationship the following week, or at least have a few dates lined up. How wrong I was.

Since moving to London two years ago, I have been on two dates. I found the lucky ladies through one of the many free dating sites, but quickly realised that the type of girl you meet on a free site differs from those on paid sites (they don’t appear to be after a longterm relationship, and the ones I met appeared to have taken inspiration on dress to demeanour from Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl).

After paying an exorbitant amount of money for three months membership I began the monotonous task of trying to write about myself that would ultimately attract masses of woman. It’s not easy. Trying to say what you are like as a person and what you are looking for is surprisingly difficult.

After much deliberation I decided to make my profile as broad as possible as my female friends warned me about being too ‘specific’. I began filling in the optional questions the site provide incase you are completely devoid of things to say about yourself: Food that I like? What food don’t I like?! Do you want to travel? Certainly – everywhere! Favourite films? Action, fantasy (but of course I LOVE the odd chick flick). Do I want kids? Yes please!

When it came to saying what I wanted I decided to be really honest: I want a best friend as well as a partner, someone that makes me laugh and who is up for an adventure – who doesn’t want that?

I added some nice arty pics, along with a few of me looking into the camera (a requirement, apparently) and launched it. Age range 26-32, no smokers, normal to slender build located within London. There must be about half a million of them. It said thirty thousand women were online, so I was pretty expectant of a few ‘winks’ pretty soon.

I logged out and checked a few hours later. My profile had been viewed twice. I had received an email! It was from the dating site admins telling that I should expect emails now my profile was live. Again I logged out and logged back in the next day. Nothing.

After a week my profile had been viewed 20 times. I decided that it was up to me to be proactive, I started to email women I liked the look of and send the odd ‘wink’, now this would surely lure them to my profile. Nothing.

I had set a filter on my profile so that I was only viewed by my desired age range (26-32) but noticed that most of my visits were from women who were significantly older. I was certainly popular with women over 70 (if you are reading this Sheela, I appreciate the fact that you have viewed my profile, numerous times, but I won’t be taking things any further).

I noticed a few more emails pop up from the site admins: ‘Boost your popularity for only £5’, ‘Join one of our events for only £20’, ‘Let all women message you by upgrading your account’. So, the only way to shake off the Sheela’s was to pay more money. No thanks.

I think I will keep at it and try adapting my profile to see if I can increase my views (currently at 21), but I may well be soon trying the free sites again and meeting up with a few more power bitches, at least they say hello.