How to deal with your shaving problems

by guyintheblue

Whenever I shave my face gets very angry with me. I have heavy growth and so a wet shave is in order. Every day.

Now, as most men will testify, shaving is a pain. What’s worse is trying to shave at 6am with a razor. For some reason, no matter how hard you try, the razor manages to cut through your skin.


There are a few spots on the face that are particularly frustrating to catch with a razor. Here is my list:

  1. Under your nose: for some reason I think there is an unidentified artery located in the septum, as once this starts bleeding, you have a good 30mins before it stops.
  2. On or near your Adam’s apple: cutting yourself here is not as gruesome as under your nose, but it seems to bleed very slowly, for a long time.
  3. Under your ear: this spot isn’t as painful as the others, and for some reason you can forget to mop up the mess, that’s until your work colleague causally tells you that you look like you’ve been in an accident as you have dried blood down your neck.

It all sounds painful, and it is. Not only that, but there is also the shaving rash that flares up if you don’t exfoliate and moisturise.

So, after a morning battling with the results of a swift sharp shave, I stand infront of the mirror and sigh. I look like a mess. So what’s the solution?

I have been tempted by the countless products for men. Usually packaged in black or orange and using words like ‘invigorating’ ‘extreme’ and ‘maximise’ (no doubt to quash any fear of my need for a decent shave seeming at all feminine), and I have many of them lined up in the bathroom. But all they do is cost a small fortune and smell nice.

I was in a chemists the other day, nursing an angry face, and came across a product that I was undecided about. There was no bright packaging, and no words telling me that I’d be full of vigor, etc. if I used it. Glancing at myself in the mirror over by the perfume counter I took my chances and threw it in the basket.

The following day after a battle with the razor I took the product, applied some to my fingers and watched as my complexion turned a healthy pinkish colour. I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered why I had never used this product before.

I headed to the train station feeling good, and once on the platform approached a colleague, “Morning” I said. “Are you wearing make-up?” he said, looking confused. Shit, I’d probably put too much on. “Nah, it’s this concealer cream that I found”, “So, you ARE wearing make-up”. He wasn’t impressed.

So, the miracle product was a concealer, or a ‘BB’ cream. A product that according to my colleague not something that men should be using. As I sat on the train rubbing my face to remove the excess I began to get frustrated. Why can’t I wear this, what’s wrong with wanting to look your best?

As I got to the office it quickly became apparent that my colleague had announced that I wore make-up, and the jibes quickly ensued. Even women were looking shocked and laughing.

I asked them all casually for one reason why I shouldn’t use the product. No one could provide an answer other than ‘men shouldn’t wear make-up’. I asked if they meant wearing make-up was a feminine act and to use it meant you were less of a person? So why should we view femininity as lesser to a more traditionally accepted masculine act? Are men somehow better than women?

I can say quite confidently that I won the argument and the jesting ended; my cream and my face were safe.

I strolled confidently to the toilet, as I washed my hands I looked at my shirt. My white collar was covered in the BB cream.

The next day I shaved and applied only a small amount of cream. It worked in doing its job, and I felt confident in my choice. Who needs colourful packaging to tell you what you should be using? It’s personal (just make sure you don’t get it on your collar).